FAQs
(Frequently
Asked Questions)
Q: I feel like I want to kill myself, what
do I do?
A: Call 9-1-1 or call one of these
crisis/suicide hotlines:
(801) 625-3700 or the toll-free national hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE
or 800-273-TALK
or (801) 261-1442
Q: I don't feel like I want to kill myself
but I feel like I just need to talk to somebody, what do I do?
A: Call one of these crisis lines 800-273-TALK
or (801) 261-1442 They are FREE.
Q: I cut on myself and sometime hurt myself
on purpose, but I'm not suicidal - is that a problem?
A: You are describing what has come to be
commonly referred to as "cutting". While most who engage in this, or other
kinds of self-injurious behavior truly do not wish to die, it is obviously
dangerous and serious - YES, serious enough that you should seek help from a
counselor.
Q: I think I have a problem, how can I tell?
A: If you've gotten to the point where you are
asking yourself the question, it probably IS a problem. To figure out how MUCH
of a problem, consult a professional. If employed, you could also
call your EAP (Employee Assistance Program) - you can usually get at least a few
sessions completely free of charge. Find out how to get in touch with your
EAP through your employer's human resources department. Most people find a
counselor by calling their insurance company and getting a referral.
You could consult a professional who charges on a sliding scale.
Q: What IS EAP, anyway?
A: EAP, or Employee Assistance Program, is a
resource program offered by most employers through a separate company. Resources
vary from one company to the next. Many offer a few (typically 3 - 6) mental
health counseling sessions per year completely free of charge. This is good to
use for short-term problems or if you suspect you or a loved one may have a
problem but are not sure. Contact your human resources person for the phone
number of your EAP. If you are worried that they may think, keep in mind EAP
does not only help with mental health issues, but legal issues and as a general
information resource. If you are still concerned have a friend call anonymously
for the phone number of your EAP.
Q: How do I get counseling if I don't have
insurance and I am not employed (so, I don't have
EAP)?
A: There are a number of options:
* Pay out of (you own) pocket
* Find therapist (or agency) that have a
sliding scale. This means that how much you pay depends on how much you earn.
There is usually a minimum payment expected.
* Find a therapist willing to do counseling
pro bono (for free). It is an expectation of some professional associations that
professionals do at least some pro bono work each year.
* Payment plan - Some professionals expect
full payment, but are willing to work out a very reasonable payment plan.
Q: What if I can not afford to pay for
counseling at all?
A: There are STILL options:
* Find a therapist willing to do counseling
pro bono (for free). It is an expectation of some professional associations that
professionals do at least some pro bono work each year.
* Some colleges and universities offer free
counseling - EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A STUDENT. Budding counselors need people to
counsel under the tutelage of their mentors . One such example right here in
Salt Lake City is University of Phoenix.
Support Groups, such as Alcoholics Anonymous,
Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous Overeaters Anonymous, Sex Addicts
Anonymous, Love Addicts Anonymous, etc. are virtually free - they generally ask
for a buck or two. For a quick list of local 12-step meetings try
Utah Twelve-Step Intergroup Network.
If you do not see a group that fits
you, Stanice Anderson has provided you with an even bigger list to choose from.
Q: My teen is acting weird, what do I do?
A: Don't panic. Talk to them, but be casual
and gentle - you know how teens are "allergic" to any kind of "big deal".
Chatting without an audience is important. Even two parents at once can feel
like their being ganged up on. Time and place can be important. The car is a
good place to talk. If they are more comfortable talking to someone else in the
family, you might try letting them talk to your teen.
Q: I just found drugs/alcohol in my kid's
room - what do I do?
A: Think about what you really want. If you
are like most parents, you want your teen to be open and honest with you AND not
take drugs or drink. When you talk to them, try to express that concern that is
probably laying underneath your shock, anger and hurt. Try to really LISTEN when
you confront them. What may sound like defensiveness and anger might really be
embarrassment or fear of disappointing you. Something that works very well is
called reflective listening. After discussing it, consequences should be
discussed. Yes - discussed. Many times when asking your kid what they think
would be an appropriate consequence, they frequently come up with something
pretty appropriate - sometimes they suggest a punishment far worse than you
would have imposed. This takes you more out of the "bad guy" role and gives them
more of a chance to take responsibility
Q: What IS reflective listening?
A: In short, reflective listening is when you,
as the listener, "reflect" what the other person has said before responding. It
can be used to disarm an argument and ensure that you and the other person are
heard.
For more about reflective listening click here.
Q: What do I do if my kid just won't
do what I tell 'em?
A: Clear boundaries and consistent
consequences are the way to go. While everyone is in a calm state, discuss
with your son or daughter, where the lines are and what the consequences are.
DISCUSS is a key word here. This means you both decide together where the
line is. Decide what is really important. Be flexible. Be
willing to compromise and work it out together. For example, maybe you
hate the tongue ring but you REALLY hate the fact that they smoke. Maybe
they would be willing to give up smoking if it is agreed that they can keep the
tongue ring. Ask yourself what is REALLY important to you. After
all, they'll probably grow out of the tongue ring but once a nicotine habit
takes hold, it could take years off their life. With each decision should
be set consequences for crossing the line. Consequences should be
enforceable, reasonable and consistent.
Q: Okay, the the boundaries and
consequences thing struck out. What else ya got?
A: The above is the very, very short
version of what you as a parent can do when your child is acting out. Some
kids challenge parenting skills more than others. Depending on the level
of acting out, you could try a
self-help book on parenting. Another option might be a parenting
class. There are several offered in the Salt Lake valley at the
Family Support Center,
Utah Youth Village or you could even take a
course on-line.
Q: I've tried everything, but my kid
just seems completely out of control. What do I do?
A: Consult a professional.
If you've tried everything, get your kid into counseling. This may be at
one of several different levels of care: outpatient, intensive outpatient,
partial hospitalization, inpatient or a residential treatment center. An
outpatient therapist is just what it sounds like: a therapist seen outside of
any hospital or facility. This may range from two or three times a week or
only once every couple of months - depending on the level of attention needed.
As for other levels of care, go to the facilities page.
Q: How would I know if I have a problem with
drugs or alcohol (or any other addiction)?
A: There main way to tell is whether the
use/abuse has interfered with your life. This can apply to drugs or alcohol, but
it can also pertain to gambling, eating, busyness, sex, thinking, work, TV,
exercise, pornography, other people (also known as codependency) masturbation,
the internet, chaos, religion - any activity that occupies much or most of your
time. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
* Have you ever lost a
relationship because of your use?
* Have you ever lost a job
because of your use?
* Have you ever tried to
quit but couldn't or broken promises (bargained) with yourself to get it?
* Have you ever compromised
your values because of your use - such as lying, stealing or hiding your use?
* Do many of your thoughts
or actions revolve around getting it?
* Have your friends or
significant other ever told you they think you drink/use too much?
* Do most of your friends
drink or use a lot?
* Have you ever blacked out
or felt like you could not control it?
* Have you ever been
arrested for use?
To really know if you have a problem, it is
best to consult with a professional, but after answering these questions, if you
were honest with yourself, deep down, you probably know whether you have a
problem. You are, after all, the expert on yourself. If you would like an
professional opinion, contact Frank Clayton, LPC at 801-244-9049 to schedule an
Addiction Severity Index assessment.
Q: I see/hear/physically feel things that
other people don't see, hear or feel. Will they lock me away if I tell anybody?
A: What you are describing is called
hallucinations. Hallucinating by itself is not something you would be "locked
away" for. Hallucinations are usually caused by a chemical imbalance in the
brain. There is treatment! Seek out a professional - you don't need to suffer.
Q: Then who are "locked up" for
hallucinating?
A: When a person is REACTING to the
hallucinations to where they are, or seem to be, a threat to themselves or
others.
Q: What is depression?
A: Generally speaking, it is feeling very down
or sad and usually lasts more than a few days. Depression might only last a
short time and is rather mild. Some feel depressed virtually all the time and it
runs very, very deep - even to the point where they think of
suicide. If you or anyone you know has felt this way (or are suicidal for
any reason) call 9-1-1 or crisis line immediately: (801) 261-1442, (801)
625-3700 or the toll-free national hotline:
1-800-SUICIDE
or
1-800-273-TALK
Q: How do I know if I am depressed?
A: If feelings of sadness are interfering with
your life, you are probably depressed. For example, if you turn down a lot of
invitations to go out with your friends just because you "don't feel like it"
you may be depressed. If you don't really look forward to anything, you may be
depressed. Loss of sexual desire CAN be a sign of depression. If you have a day
where you are so sad you can barely (or don't) get out of bed, you could be
depressed.
There is treatment for depression! You don't
need to suffer. Consult with a professional. There are some things you can do to
help pull out of depression. Because of the seriousness of depression, it is
strongly recommended that you or your loved one be properly assessed and treated
by a professional. If you cannot afford counseling, call a crisis line or
click here for other options.
Q: Sometimes I feel like what you described
as depressed but other times I feel like I'm top of the world - what's that
about?
A: This could be a different kind of mood
disorder called bipolar. There are many different kinds. This can be
very serious. Seek the diagnosis and treatment by a professional.
Q: I am uptight all the time. I worry a lot
too. Is there something wrong with me?
A: You may be experiencing anxiety. There are
many ways to deal with anxiety, including positive coping skills, relaxation
techniques, reframing and yes, medications.
Q: "Positive coping skills"? What's that?
A: A positive coping skill is anything that
helps you deal with a stressful situation that positively impacts your life.
Examples are breathing techniques, meditation, journaling, sports,
visualization, prayer and/or going to the great outdoor, such as the dunes, a
lake, the mountains or the beach. Some examples of negative coping skills might
be drinking, using drugs, smoking, raging, etc. You get the idea.
Q: I force myself to vomit after
eating but I'm not underweight so that's not a problem, right?
A: Yes, it is. If you are regularly
vomiting to maintain your weight, you are describing Bulemia. Eating
disorders are very serious and even life-threatening. If you are making
yourself vomit, please seek help. Eating disorders can be very dangerous.
Q: I make myself vomit but I do think
about my weight a lot. Is THAT a problem?
A: If you think about your weight a lot
and weigh yourself a lot AND are underweight, you may be diagnosed with Anorexia
Nervosa. Again, this can be life-threatening so if you, or someone you
care about think you may have a problem GET HELP.
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