Well..There’s no perfect pitucre of happiness..It changes with time and space..That which i may call happiness today may not have the same effect 2morw..So, better to be ready fr the Changing nature of happiness and ENJOY..and most importantly..seek it within not outside..:)
In Dan Gilbert’s book, Stumbling on Happiness, he advises that when faced with a decision, always seek out the advice of trusted friends or colleagues. I did just that with a big decision. Not only did this friend/colleague give me the advice, she backed it up with specific rationale. I feel very grateful for this friend and her good counsel.
(Note: I know I am being vague but until I am ready to make announcements, that’s how it has to be)
Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
Positive #3: Bolts. If I were to imagine that suddenly all of the bolts in the world disappeared, I think the world (at least the man-made world) would literally fall apart. Cars, airplanes, buildings, power tools, appliances, lawn mowers, farm equipment, TVs, computers, lights, sprinkler systems, power plants, fences – possibly even hardware inside some people’s bodies. Imagining the sudden disappearance of something is an easy way to find the appreciation in things large and small. What things did I forget to include? Help me to further appreciate bolts.
Positive #2: Personal differences. If everyone were exactly like me, the world would be very boring. What would I talk about with other clones of myself? We would constantly be agreeing with one another because we would all be the same. I appreciate other cultures and other perspectives that help me to see the world from a different perspective. It also provides the opportunity to debate, influence and challenge us. Different experiences, perspectives, skin colors, religious points of view, priorities, morals and values. Instead of merely tolerating these differences, I celebrate them for enriching my life every day.
Positive #1: Guilt. This might surprise students from tonight’s Happiness 101 class but guilt (like all emotions) is good and useful when you properly understand it. Guilt is feedback that we are breaking our own rules. This is great for us to know instantly and can keep us from making a snap decision we might later regret. Also, if we do not have any guilt, we would be said to have Antisocial Personality Disorder. Many people who have no sense of guilt end up behind bars. I don’t want to end up in prison and so today I appreciate the instant feedback that guilt provides me.
Positive #3: Saying “no” more easily. I used to have a real problem saying “no”. I felt that it was my responsibility to “make” other people feel happy. This past week I have said “no” a lot and I realized that all this Positive Psychology stuff has really changed me. Now I feel an appropriate amount of angst about saying “no”. I can empathize as to why the other person is upset or disappointed but I don’t feel the urge to rescue any more. Instead, I know the other person is strong enough to withstand the disappointment and that they will endure – just as we all do. I think part of this lesson was realizing from my experiences in the past and just how much more pain is caused by NOT saying “no”. I would much rather endure five minutes of discomfort than days, weeks, months or even years of regret of not using that short but powerful word, “no”. Today I recognize the importance of saying “no” as a life skill and that sometimes when saying “no” to someone else, I am saying “yes” to myself.
Positive #2: Hushmail. Confidentiality is VERY important and so we use Hushmail which automatically encrypts E-mails making them HIPAA compliant. It gives great peace of mind to know that we can communicate in a way that will honor the privacy of everyone involved. Today, I appreciate Hushmail.
Positive #1: Root Beer. I have loved Root Beer for as long as I can remember. I even remember my mother trying to explain to me as a boy that “Dad’s Root Beer” was a brand name and not necessarily that the root beer belonged to dad and that he wasn’t going to share. It’s sweet. It’s fizzy and it’s my all time favorite carbonated drink. I don’t usually like ANY diet sodas but for some reason A&W doesn’t leave that “diet” after taste. Today, I pause to appreciate my long-time friend, Root Beer.
Positive #3: Lenience with myself and my positives. There’s a lot going on right now and I realized when I thought of doing my positives, I realized that I could feel more joyful about it. So, I practiced what I preached and realize I could be a little more brief – being a little more patient and lenient with myself.
Positive #2: Dominion game night! Friends are coming over specifically to play my favorite game and pair it with one of my other favorite past times – eating! Great company, food and my favorite game – what could be sweeter?!