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Oh, I also found out that as a teacher in the program, I can attend classes FREE! I am SO excited! My only “problem” will be figuring out which classes to take 
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
Studies have shown that writing five positives per day can decrease depression. This is one of them. This is just one of the tidbits from (the free class), Happiness 101. For more positives, click here..
I think I have shared with you that I have been sculpting my life. This means that I am looking at all aspects of my life and deciding if it is the way I want it to be. One of the dynamics I discovered about myself is the ostrich approach to problem solving. If I had some level of skill in a given area, I would deal with it head-on. But if it was an area that was too scary or that I was not proficient in, I would do my ostrich thing. As you might imagine, this does not work very well and the given issue usually comes back to bite me. In the last 60 days I have been doing something different. I listed all of the things to which I have used the ostrich approach. This was very uncomfortable by the way. I then set about taking a hard look at each issue. I asked for advice from people I trust, made a plan and have been moving forward every week on each of these uncomfortable fronts. It has felt very empowering to deal with things on my terms (even though it has been challenging) rather than waiting for them to deal with me. One of the most challenging has been getting my finances in order. I am a therapist, not a book keeper. It is not my forte and so I have been reluctant to deal with it. As part of my plan, I brought in people who ARE proficient in this area. Today we took a giant leap forward in taming the finances (or what I affectionately refer to as “The Mother of All Messes”). I expect by week’s end I will be ready to make the appointment with the accountant. Again, this step is very scary for me but still feels (overall) better and more empowering than doing the ostrich thing.
Essentially what I have done, is used the same formula that I give students in Happiness 101:
#1 Become mindful (I realized I was doing the ostrich thing)
#2 Decide if it is making you more or less happy (just for the record: less)
#3 Brainstorm (I did this extensively within myself AND solicited advice from other smart people)
#4 Decide on a course of action (hire a book keeper)
#5 Do it (hired a book keeper)
#6 Evaluate (I haven’t done this because the project has not been finalized, but so far so good)
I encourage you to follow these same steps in issues large and small to make your life Happier.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
I share positives on YouTube too. It’s a great place to post positives because they have so many inspirational and uplifting videos. In fact, I have posted one hour’s worth of video which encapsulates much of the pertinent information I teach in (the free class), Happiness 101 Click here to go to the videos or Click here to find out more about the benefits of posting positives.
Write down three good things in your life every day to improve your Happiness. That is what Martin Seligman suggested based on his research about Happiness. Being the founder of Positive Psychology and the former president of the American Psychological Association, he can be considered a very reliable source. So three positives is good. Five positives are even better. In their publication Counting Blessings Versus Burdens: An Experimental Investigation of Gratitude and Subjective Well-Being in Daily Life, Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough discovered that super-sizing the number of blessings you count each day has even more benefits. This why we encourage students in Happiness 101 to do this as a “Home Opportunity” (we don’t like to call it Home WORK, because that sounds too much like “work”).
I used to write my five things in my journal every day but then one day on a whim started sharing them on Facebook. Then I realized I have an internet presence in five different places, so why not spread the love?
For the other four positives, go to:
Happiness 101 Facebook Fan page
Twitter account)
My Facebook page
YouTube
Happiness 101 MeetUp.com page.
Feel free to share your own positives – here, there or everywhere.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
Watching an in-door cat explore the outside world is always an adventure. Every time I let me cat out into the yard, I am amazed at how unnatural this natural being finds nature. He tentatively steps upon soft spongy stuff called grass and tigers his way through the jungle of bushes lining the perimeter of the yard. Were this a different world, these things would all seem day-to-day to him and being inside a big thing called a “house” would seem unnatural. As he sniffs and explores, I see the yard with new eyes. Appreciating the adventurer in him, rekindles it in me.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
Why am I posting postives every day? In (the free class) Happiness 101 I teach about how to be lastingly happier. Writing positives each day is one of the techniques. Click here to find out more.
Okay, I know at first glance it seems strange to have a therapist suggesting that you argue in front of your children – but that’s exactly what I am suggesting, WITH some caveats. Fight fair. This means:
* Argue about what you’re arguing about (not about issues from the past)
* No below the belt
* No yelling
* No name calling
* Listen
* Behave respectfully
* Obviously no hitting or throwing things
* Keep the argument between you and the person you are arguing with (don’t bring other people into it)
* Take a break if needed (when your anger thermostat gets too high)
Now that the ground rules are set, go ahead and argue in front of the kids – on occasion. Children need to see that normal couple’s argue. That’s right, I said it. It is normal for couple’s to argue on a regular basis and children need to see the appropriate way to deal with conflict. If mommy and daddy never argue in front of them, they may grow up with unreasonable expectations that happy couple’s never fight. Just to be crystal clear: yelling, throwing or hitting is also known as domestic violence and is never appropriate – especially in front of children.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
Click here to see video about Laughter Yoga
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
I share positives on YouTube too. It’s a great place to post positives because they have so many inspirational and uplifting videos. In fact, I have posted one hour’s worth of video which encapsulates much of the pertinent information I teach in (the free class), Happiness 101. Click here to go to the videos or Click here to find out more about the benefits of posting positives.
Can you imagine how gas we have saved by having insulation in our homes? Gas prices would probably be completely out of control were it not for this simple and effective invention. While I am appreciating insulation, I feel that I would be remiss if I did not point out that modern day insulation is fire resistant! Again, ingenuity saves not only fuel but lives. I personally have used insulation in some pretty creative ways to turn an okay Halloween costume into a GREAT one! What unconventional ways have you used insulation? Please share – it will help us to appreciate it that much more.
~Frank Clayton, Licensed Professional Counselor
This is just one of five positives I write every day. I used to only do three but in doing research for (the free class) Happiness 101, I discovered that studies show that writing FIVE positives every day helps (even more than three ) to increase one’s lasting happiness even more. To see the rest, click here.
Happy News