Click here to see Frank skydive
I could continue to feed old negative beliefs or choose to adopt new ones. Right now. I could choose. The air was warm now. The colors of the land far below seemed more vibrant. My life changed. A new beginning.
Almost as if he knew what a moment of celebration this was, Fish put his hands over mine again and took us into a gentle spin. An aerial celebration! We played in the gentle wind. I breathed deeply my new life, soaking in everything. The feel of the wind and sun on my bare arms and legs. The interesting way the details of the ground slowly came into focus. The warble rush of the air was replaced by gentle whispering breeze. And my nostrils were filled with that distinct new life smell.
The end/beginning was near. In preparation for the landing, Fish instructed me to keep my feet kicked out in front of me as high as they would go. “Aye, aye, captain”, I thought. As we twirled for the last time, the ground crew rushed to meet us. With surprising gentleness we landed. Eager to celebrate my new life I stood straight up. I am taller than Fish, so I almost jerked the poor man off his feet. I muttered a quick apology and announced, “Woo Hoo!! I’m FREE!!!!!”
(one more installment to follow: Jumping for Joy – the Afterglow)
The final tether to which I clung when hard times hit was: the little things. You’ve probably found that when under stress, you don’t feel like doing the little things, such as making the bed, watering the plants or mowing the lawn. Under stress these little things might seem frivolous and unimportant – just a pest that seems more taxing to swat than to not. It is important to know what your “little things” that slip for you when you are stressed. These can serve as sign posts to watch for sneaking stress (as opposed to the acute variety). In her book, The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky beats the drum of “Happiness Habits”. It is very much these little things that matter so much. Think about it. When you don’t do those little things, there is a part of you that laments, “Oh, I really SHOULD have done that.” Or even worse, “I didn’t even do (such and such). I’m awful” (or other words to that effect). Doing the little things can help keep you afloat during rough waters. Sometimes the routine itself can feel like a buoy to hang onto. In therapy land, there is a life skill called “act opposite to emotion”. Those little things? I invite you to at least be aware of what you are doing (or not doing). If you choose to give yourself permission to not take out the trash or give your razor the day off, I hope you do so with compassion.
In addition to cultivating optimism and expressing gratitude, in this week’s Happiness 101 class, we will also discuss overthinking. There are several ways to stop worrying but one way to deal with is to give in to it and let yourself worry! I get strange looks when I teach this part of class. Yes, if you are a worrier and cannot seem to stop, worry but worry efficiently. You can dedicate a certain time of day just to worry. This is helpful in a number of ways 1) Your worrying is not clouding the rest of your day 2) You are not getting upset with yourself because you cannot seem to stop 3) You are worrying efficiently. Instead of worrying and getting no where, by sitting down and giving your concerns proper attention you can sort through your worries. Hours after the fact, the worry you wrote down to think about might seem silly and you can cast it away easily. Some worries are quite legitimate and merit further consideration. By giving it your concentration your time might be spent not only feeling what you really feel but give you the opportunity to problem solve and come to a solution or by employing the serenity prayer reach a point of letting go, knowing that worrying will not change the outcome. Of course if you reach no resolution – you can always worry about it again tomorrow.
When struggling with symptoms of depression the first step is to rule out medical reasons.
