2009 August » Salt Lake Mental Health

When Hard Times Hit (Part 1 of 3)

Aug 202009

Therapists, even Happy Therapists, have their share of knocks in life. We just have a bigger tool belt to deal with it and we know and understand what we are going through. That does not mean we get a free pass from going through it – just like everybody else. Last week my best friend underwent open heart surgery. He could live, or he could die. Just like everyone else, I did not know which way the pendulum of fate would swing.
We all know the “What if” trail. However, in all my happy research I know there is always a choice. So instead of taking the “What if”s down the negative road, I took the road less traveled, and it truly has made a difference. I played the “What if” game to win. I thought “What if he lives? What if he comes out of this with a new lease on life? What if he marries the woman of his dreams? What if he has children (which he has always wanted)? What if he becomes healthy and happy?” Now, this mental game has taken a little effort – but with a GREAT payoff! Yes, it is true. Those other things could happen. But he could just as easily go down the path I choose to envision. If one has the choice to dwell on the bad and feel bad or dwell on the good and feel good, why would one choose the former and ignore the latter?

District 9 – a movie review from the Happy Therapist

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Aug 192009

My guess is that District 9 will not make you feel happy, but it will certainly give you a lot to think about. I found it very difficult to sit through. I almost walked out in the middle because of all the violence. As I have been walking the path toward being a happier person, I find violence more and more difficult to sit through. So, honestly, if I knew what I know now, I would not have gone to see it. If you are curious about getting the message but want to skip the violence, you might consider picking up the book (when it comes out). I am glad I stuck it out though because it had such a poignant message. The friend I went with wondered aloud why they had to use a sledghammer to drive that message home. I would like to offer my opinion on what that message was for one very important reason: though two people may look at exactly the same billboard, they still may receive different messages. I can see how some people might walk away with a very different message. So, without further adieu: I believe the message of District 9 was: we (human beings) can do better. We can have more understanding for one another and act and re-act in a more kind, caring and HUMANE fashion. The way humans treated the aliens was frighteningly similiar to how some human beings are treating other human beings right NOW. We CAN do better.

Happiness: What's LUCK got to do with it Happiness 101 – 8/18/09

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Aug 142009

Are you a lucky person?

No. Wait. Think about it before reading on….

Do you believe in luck?

If so, do you think a person can change his/her luck?

This week in Happiness 101, we’ll talk about Luck and its relationship to Happiness. If you really think about it, your view on Luck has a great deal to do with Happiness. Join us, Tuesday, August 18th, 7pm. The place to be: 220 East 3900 South #7

Happiness 101 is an uplifting, positive, FREE class where you’ll have fun, learn to break unhappy habits and learn HOW to be happy. The material taught in this class is based on scientific research that supports what will REALLY make us happy versus what we think will make us happy (studies show we are surprisingly poor at making decisions that will ultimately lead to happiness).

Call 801-262-0317 for recorded information.

Also, on September 12th I will offer Happiness 201! At the end of this workshop you will walk away with a personalize plan for Happiness, tailor-made for you and your life style. This is a four hour workshop designed for long-term happiness for only $50! Your insurance may even cover it.

‘Keep smiling.

~Frank

Gratitude List

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Aug 112009

In the Happiness 101 class, a standing home opportunity (we like to say “opportunity” because home WORK sounds like…. well, “work”) is to write down three positive things per day. We do this because the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, had a 94% success rate just by doing this small thing – a thing that takes less than two minutes per day. And that was with a group of people who were severely can’t-get-out-of-bed depressed. So, here is my list for today:

Dirt – Where would we be without it?? (think about it)

The ability to formulate a complete thought (some people, when in a manic state have trouble doing this)

The lid to the milk (to keep me from crying over the spill)

~Frank

Happiness 101 Graduation to a Happier Life-8/11/09

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Aug 112009

This is a very special week in the Happiness class. Members of the class are celebrating their commitment to a new life – and they are all doing it in their own unique way. I’m sure nobody will be jumping out of a plane to proclaim their new found happiness like I did (see Diary of a Happy Therapist: Jumping for Joy, Part I), but who knows, maybe someone will marry themselves or even more inspiring! We have a great, enthusiastic, imaginative group of people in the class – who knows what might happen!

Join us Tuesday (8/11/09) 7pm at 220 East 3900 South #7 at 7pm

Call 801-262-0317 for recorded information. You can also visit the blog: www.frankclayton.wordpress.com

‘Keep smiling.

~Frank

Happiness Tip: Password to Happiness

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Aug 082009

I recently heard a great happiness tip: make all your passwords something that will remind you of something happy. It could be the word “smile”, the title of a joke, a TV show or the place of your last great vacation – or your ideal vacation for that matter. Studies have proven that even thinking of such a thing for a moment can release endorphins (in Happiness 101 we call them “Happy Chemicals”) into your blood stream.

Security tip: If you are concerned that someone might guess your happy password, you can change characters or add characters at the end to make it unique. For example, smile could become sm1le (changed the i to a 1) or happy could become h@ppy.

Diary of a Happy Therapist: Jumping for Joy, Part II

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Aug 052009

Everyone has their own way of doing things. The path of Happiness looks different for each person. On July 24th I took a giant step toward happiness. A step from 13,000 feet above Erda (just west of Tooele).

Since April I have immersed myself in the study of Happiness, primarily relying on the text from The How of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky. In the book, she does a GREAT job of offering specific, empirically based paths toward Happiness. While she DOES touch on the issues of ceasing behavior that contributes to our unhappiness, in my opinion, that part of the equation is not emphasized enough. Striving for happiness while thwarted by unhappy habits is counter productive. So as part of this new beginning I took an honest look at my own behavior and realized there is a lot of room for improvement. Rather than being deflated by this realization, I was excited! For each unhappy habit I identified, I knew this was more weight I could let go and thereby become even happier.

First on the list was forgiveness. As I have taught in the class, I believe forgiveness to be more a process than a finish line. So, on the morning of the jump, I wrote down each person I felt any traces of resentment and forgave them – including myself. Many of us were taught that we should forgive and move on, never to dwell on the offense again. Some claim to have the ability to forgive major offenses quickly and easily, never to think of it again. For the majority of people, this expectation only leads to guilt and frustration when feelings of resentment rise again. You may have said words to yourself like “I thought I already forgave this person! Why can’t I seem to let it go?” So, as I took another step on the pathof forgiveness, I remembered that forgiveness is a process - that some of these people I have forgiven before and was open to the possibility that I may feel the need to forgive them again in the future. That said, after four hours of journaling, I felt cleansed and ready to start a new chapter in my life as a happier person.